Sunday, March 26, 2006

New Lutern Airline

Is this making fun of us Scandinavians ????
YA SHURE, YOU BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN
MINNYSOOOTA, ALSO SRVING VISCONSIN, AND DA DAKOTAS, (NORT and SOUT).

If you are travelin soon, concider LUTERN AIR, da no frills airline. You
are
all in da same boat on LUTERN AIR, vere flyin is an uplifting
experience.......

Dere is no 1st class on any LUTERN AIR flight, and meals are
potluck...Rows
1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-33,
a
dessert. Basses and tenors, please sit in da rear of da aircraft.

Everyone is responible for his or her own baggage... All fares are by
freewill offering and da plane vill not land 'til da budget has been
met.....

Pay attention to Lena, your flight attendant, who vill aquaint you vit
da
safety system aboard dis LUTERN AIR 599.

Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a
sudden
loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real supprised and so
vill
Captain Ole Olson, because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so
loss of
cabin pressure vood probably mean da Second Comming ! , or someting of
dat
nature. and I vouldn't bodar vit doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
you're gonna have bigger tings to vorry 'bout den dat. Yust stuff doze
back
up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of
turbulence,
vich to be honest vit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two
tousand
feet !, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you
get
used to it.

In da ewent of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lords

Prayer and yust hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as ve
forgive doze who sin against us, vich some people say "trespass against
us,"
vich isn't right, but vat can you do?

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day
may
confuse da planes navigation system, vich is seat of da pants all da
vay.
No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da vazoo, and if God had
meant
you to use a cell phone, He vud have put your mout on da side of your
head.

Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style vit da coffee pot
up
front. Den ve vil have da Hymn sing; Hymnals are in da pocket in front
of
you. Don't take yours vit when you leave da plane, or I'm goind to be
real
upset, and I'm not kiddin !!

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
gifts
to us be blessed..Fader, Son, and Holy Ghost, may ve land in Dulut or
pretty
close. Amen!"

1 comment:

grandmajean said...

Thanks, Mark. I'll have to send it to a couple of good Swedes that I know will appreciate it, especially Ralph's Mom. She is still good with her Swedish accent. It sounds like such fun!